When I was young, I believed in burnout. And I am talking about the time when I was really young – in my early teens. And surprisingly, that is how I was being brought up and conditioned. If I have not exhausted myself by the end of the day, I might have missed on to some great opportunities to grow.
And honestly, I used to believe in this highly toxic concept of exhaustion and cynicism till I turned thirty (that is in the summer of last year if you guys are trying to calculate my age). I completely ignored the fact that burnout is actually causing me subtly hate whatever I used to do. It somehow made me stay away from growing in what I did. The thought of upgrading myself became redundant. I would do that if and ONLY if the job demanded. I had actually lost the zeal to do something out of curiosity.
And even then, burnout feels like a legit thing to do. There are days when I don’t do a lot. I don’t work, I don’t create content, I don’t ideate, I skip cleaning and I skip cooking too. And on those day, instead of feeling completely relaxed I end up being in a complete state of panic. Convincing myself to feel okay about taking such days is a task.
And then, that leads me to a completely different loop of thoughts. Am I being too lenient? Or am I a victim of habitual burnout? Does experiencing burnout ensures that I give my best shot? Does it make me 100% efficient?
This weekend I went for a completely unforeseen getaway. We drove to the nearest state border. Explored a li’l bit, played some games at the casino and took a complete break from our screens. And it felt good. I mean the weekend didn’t just fly by. There was a certain peace and calmness in the whole set-up. And the idea of not doing anything did not send me to a guilt trip after coming back, like it usually does.
When you work for yourself, the idea of hustling never goes away. You feel highly disappointed when you don’t work for a few hours or just spend a day to just breathe. I am just using this post as a reminder that it’s okay to not feel the burnout. It’s okay to take a breather. It’s okay not to hustle for a while.
Man! I love this free write thing. I love taking these mental dump!