It is not easy to escape the trap called societal pressure. The society has given every person a status. And I recently graduated from “when are you getting married” to “when are you going to have babies?”

So yes, I got married roughly a quarter of a year ago, and I am not keeping a tab of every month that we are completing together. That is cumbersome. And I read somewhere that relationships are supposed to be effortless!

I have always seen couples around me complaining about their marital life. And I was, honestly, very scared of that. I am still scared of what we might get reduced to after living together for a long time – but for now, I am making hay while the sun is shining. I have always supported the concept of living-in before settling down with someone, but I never got an opportunity to do it myself. Having said that, I am loving every bit of living with my bae. I basically love to spend all my time with him, so that is why he still has not become a pain to me.

To all my unmarried friends, matrimonial life is not about humping all day at all. It is not about being lovey-dovey and mushy either. It’s just like you start living with a person and sharing your personal space and time. And that is pretty straight forward.

One huge lesson I have learned is that you really don’t have to say anything once you have married. Your spouse will only hear what they want to hear.

Building a home together

It’s a new home we are setting up, like almost every other newlyweds. It’s obviously a dream home, and both of us put our heart and soul in it. And it’s not a war for us. I do my own things, he does his own. My bae is a complete feminist. For him, the concept of gender-specific roles is no existent. He shops – shops for things that we would never ever use or maybe don’t even need because there is always a good deal on it, somewhere on the internet. 

Before I got married, I had no idea that there is a wrong way of putting back the condiment bottles back in the fridge. Also, organizers – all sort of them – cover a significant part of the house.

The food talk

I will put it straight – food battle is a real deal. And it’s not about who is cooking what. It is about who is eating the last slice of pizza and how are we going to share the last piece of our favourite cheesecake. The solution to this distribution is never “half-half”.

Our kitchen is a happy place now. I cook and he does the rest of the work like cleaning and organizing. But we don’t enter into each other’s territory.

The kitchen space can actually define your married life. For me, marriage is basically the living set up where he always stands in front of the kitchen cabinet or drawer (doing his own silly stuff) that I want to open. No value addition to household chores, just standing there testing my patience!

I am completely averse to grocery shopping. And he loves it. He hoards things. Our house is always prepared for all kind of disaster. Why? Because there is always food for 20 years. And thus, our event calendar is basically full of reminders of the expiration dates of the huge amount of stuff that he has stored in the fridge and the pantry – and I hate this hoarder.

But the good thing about marriage is compromising with our choices. If he wants to have Chinese food and I want to have tacos, we both compromise and order tacos. So yes, life is good there.

Watching TV

First of all, “what do you want to watch” is a rhetorical question. You can never have a right answer to this question. And trust me, we start our Friday nights browsing what to watch, browse for 100 hours and then end up sleeping without watching anything.

That reminds me, this is the first time in my entire life that I am taking “Netflix and Chill” literally. We start movies/series together and I never reach the end. My priorities are on point. I sleep. But we still have to watch them together. *sigh*

Weekend-ing

Weekends are so different from pre-marital life. Earlier, we used to look forward to our weekends – going out for parties and dinners and dates. Now our weekends are so sorted. We stay in bed, eat our favourite snack and browse the food storage section of Amazon and Target on our laptops.

Also, weekends are the time when he does the hottest thing. He cancels our plans of going out without talking about them and nothing can beat that! Lazy weekends are the key to a happy married life – sooner you learn it, the better it is!

I am sure my other half is going to come back with his whims after reading this. And I can not wait to share them!


I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa.

 

 

 

 

 

41 Comments
  1. I have had a beautiful relationship with my wife for over two decades. My memoir, Autumn Shadows, [Amazon Kindle] is dedicated to her and it tells the story of the ups and downs in our relationship, caused mostly by other people. The success of a marriage depends on mutual understanding and acceptance.

  2. Hmmm….enjoy! So happy to read this. Indeed married life is all about giving and taking. Doing what you want without encroaching the others space and yet being together when the need arises. I just wrote a post on that yesterday. You could take a look. Once we are comfortable with each other, married life becomes easy and home becomes a sweet home where both the husband and wife want to come back always!!

  3. Your blog today reminded me of my first days after marriage. I and my husband were very much like you both. With only difference being weekends meant movies, outings, malls, shopping, we didn’t like to stay at home. We enjoyed online movies, series with him sleeping early and me finishing it till the next morning 😁 . It was a fun time. Now we have a kid. It’s amazing now too. So when are you planning ?? Ha ha #damurureads

  4. That’s straight from the heart write up. Initial few months are fun as you discover each other and make a life together. Enjoy this phase and wishing you a very happy married life!!

  5. It is tough to escape these age old questions from Indian in laws. Though they are caring and concerned for you but yes they behave as per their upbringing and value system. Times are changing and it is important to make the seniors understand that life is much more than just husband and babies.

  6. A very cute post. I have also gone through this phase of my married life. This phase is the best phase for all couples. Make it as memorable as you can. Wishing you a great life ahead.

  7. Interesting! The initial months or say years of life we get to understand spouse. And trust me, coming from someone who has over a decade experience, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Hope you folks have a memorable adventurous married life.

  8. This such a sweet article. I have been married for the last 6 years. Sometimes, everyday bring a new surprise for us! You have rightly said that it is all about sharing the work load and finding happiness in small things. Wish u a very happy married life 🙂

  9. First quarter of marriage is a very trying time as you are trying get to know your spouse even better and managing the hose, people in the house etc.A great conversation routine can save any marriage i guess and boost the relationship of a couple.

  10. I can say that you are happy with your married life and I am sure it will become more stronger because of the love and the respect that you are giving to each other. Thanks for sharing your story!

  11. This was a fun read! I’ve been married for almost 6 years and let me tell you, your relationship will undergo many changes in the coming years- but each will have its own attractions!

  12. It was such an interesting topic especially for those who are considering to get married soon.. Great job on this blog

  13. first of all congratulations on your wedding. And I can truly understand and relate. I married my best friend 7 year ago and things are somewhat simmilar. don’t worry much either you w would get a better hold of things or you would mould yourself and enjoy the lazy weekends. <3

  14. Thanks for sharing a piece of your life. I’ve been married for 2 decades and yet there are still surprises between the two of us. The differences of the personalities make life interesting.

  15. Me and my husband do things differently but we just let it pass. I know it can be annoying sometimes but it is understanding that there are some ways we learned from our parents that are different from what our spouses were taught. That’s the beauty of marriage – loving another person despite our diffrences.

  16. Married life can definitely be difficult but it also has its perks. I think learning each other’s ways likes and dislikes really helps.

  17. You learn so much about each other when you live together, Those little things like who will eat the last slice of pizza are a great starting point for interesting discussions.

  18. We all have our differences and way of doing things is how I like to look at it. It takes time to work out the kinks once you start living with someone. You have to be willing to compromise every now and again, otherwise, no one will be happy.

  19. I love that you’re pointing out the real deal that happens in the first few months into marriage- it’s not always a lovey-dovey nor wrangles but you just have to learn to build a home together. I found it funny when you said that it can be such an issue to see who’ll get the last bite of pizza. I found it quite hilarious!

  20. Nice post and I really enjoyed reading this article. My husband and I are been together for 17years (10 years of being a boyfriend and girlfriend and 7 years of being married). I can say that we fight for something and for me couple fighting is normal but make sure to settle things before going to sleep. Open communication is always the biggest key of having a beautiful and successful relationship. I might say that I have almost a perfect married life, I am happy with my husband and with my kids. Good luck on your married life you will be facing a lot and you need to be strong and brave for it.

  21. You are an adorable couple. Marriags has its own sweet taste. Loved the way you wrote about your new life. I have passed a long stage of my married life. It is all about knowing each other and appreciating each other and supporting each other.

  22. Oh gosh, this is so familiar! I want everything my way and my boyfriend – his way. But I think fighting over small things means you care. I love how you write!

  23. Hey, don’t be scared of living together and sharing your life with your favorite person in the world today!
    But what I learned is that let them do things they grew up used to do, like holding a fork this way and not Your way, or boiling hot water this way and avoiding Your way.
    I am sure your bae has his issues of “your” way doing things.
    Once we accept the idea of letting the other person just be – life lived in the now will be your focus, rather than “his” way of doing things.
    Awesome post!

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