(This post has been picked up as the BlogAdda’s Tangy Tuesday Pick)
They say that to find yourself,
You have to lose yourself.
Taking a step forward,
And then taking two steps back
Subconsciously conscious of
Every move, every decision-
Deliberately staying unattached.
Preparing for the destruction,
Preparing for the emptiness. 
Is it anything new?
Or something new indeed –
that changes your universe.

No matter how much negative connotation the title has, the post is probably one of the most optimistic posts that you have read here off lately. Attachment is a good thing. In fact, it is a great gift for any emotionally sane person to have. But being unattached is even a greater gift. A gift that life gives you when it knows that you are ready for it.

If you have grown through what you have gone through, you are definitely going to agree with what I am going to say next. There is nothing called a right thing or a wrong thing. So, I wouldn’t use my judgement and call being unattached as a good or a bad thing. It is completely okay to be unattached. You can truly and completely be in love and stay unattached. Yes, that is normal.
Let us track what causes attachment. Attachment happens when you look for a person – a friend, a lover, anyone- to fill the void that you have in your life. Once you find that person, you give full responsibility of your void – something that is yours to take care of- to that lucky one. This makes you emotionally dependent on that person and what follows is attachment which causes the vulnerability we all are afraid of. Why not just do this – fill the void yourself because no one else knows you better than you do. And then find a person who can enhance the effort and complement that. You are completely unattached then but at the same time, you respect and love the person all the more. 
It doesn’t sound easy, does it? No. Because it is not. Coming to terms with the fact that you don’t need anyone for anything in your life is a Herculean task. It is human tendency to always look for support. But when you know that you are self-sufficient and then find someone who will just increase that self-sufficiency factor, you know that you are doing good. Do not seek someone to heal your childhood wounds, help you sail through your fears or give a guarantee of the future – trust me everyone is good enough to do that for themselves – rather seek someone with whom you can live in the moment because you are as independent as can be. 
Does it mean that you are being selfish – not even letting the other person get attached to you? No, you ain’t. You are just being in control of your emotions. Being unattached, in fact, conveys the fact that you respect the other person’s journey and struggle of life as much as you respect yours. In fact, you love and care all the more – without expecting anything out of it. 
What you just read is the age-old teaching about the worldly pleasure that we have been ignoring because it’s convenient. Work towards your life, get involved in it but don’t get attached.  

Author’s Note
Life is the best teacher, isn’t it? The last thing that I would want to do is write a gyaani post. This is just something I just had to share. I did not write this one just for the sake of writing it. I now know that this is how things work.

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