You are not alone.

They say things get better with time. They say you get over and you move on and it’s just “another chapter” in the book called life. 

Is it okay to feel a bit different? And that too when you know that your different is just the same. 

Pain – that is what heartbreaks are about. You have been told that a number of times. Certainly. Beautifying and romanticizing heartbreaks are never needed. Heartbreaks are not defined by the break – up songs at night. They are not defined by the lyrics of your favorite songs. They are not defined by the sad poetry. 

Heartbreaks are when you know you are doing fine and then suddenly you break down while doing the things you like – dancing, reading or anything – because you are happy and you miss them in your happiness. Heartbreaks are when you realize that you are in the middle of nowhere but can feel the ghosts of their hands, holding yours, and leading you nowhere, again. Heartbreaks are when you wake up suddenly from your sleep because you dreamed about them. Dreamed about what they want to say and not what you want to hear. That is the pain. The pain when you know that even in your dreams you can not have what you desire. 

And that is why heartbreaks, if they really are heartbreaks, are more than the sad songs and sleepless nights. They are defined by the realization that it is not about the dependency. It is not about the need. It is not about the absence of a relationship or a guy/girl in your life. It is about the person – the bond. It is about the innocent want of having something because it just makes everything around you even more beautiful. 

Having said that, a partner is, of course, not always necessary to achieve happiness. But then there are the times when you know that solitude is no longer a bliss. It is just temporary. 

It is okay not to feel okay and not being able to talk about it. It is okay to endure the pain. And it is okay if people don’t understand “what you are going through”. They don’t need to. You need to live. Live good and be hopeful. 

Author’s Note
Have you heard the song “Mere mehboob, Qayamat hogi. Aaj rusvaa teri galiyon me mohabbat hogi.”? This is one song that I might never sing. Why? Heartbreaks – stomping on someone’s reservoir of feelings because it is convenient – are something I don’t ever wish for the deadliest of my enemies. That feeling is sad. Sometimes even deadly.

Going through it is bad. But I am the sort of person who always believes that you always get what you want – against all the logic and the odds. Hope is a good thing. Every phase has to end. This must as well.

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