I heard the clouds. I sensed the storm. I knew it will rain that night. I can not remember the time when I loved rains.
I hate them. I dread them. The last time I got drenched was when he walked away. It seemed so easy for him to kiss goodbye and leave. I could never say goodbye.
12 years of love and happiness shattered in front of my eyes, when he stood there, across the road, waving his hand.
I could never ask for a reason for his discontent. I just heard him say sorry. He said he can not live with me anymore. He said he loves me but things cannot be the way we have dreamed of. He can not stay away from his family and his dreams, so he has to let me go.
I wish he gave me a chance to speak. I couldn’t utter a word. I loved him more than anyone. He never saw that. For all I know, he assumed that I am just another girl. A girl who is a thing of beauty for his worldly pleasures. I don’t blame him. I love him way too much to think anything against him.
He said our families are different. He said our aspirations are different. He said our destinations are different. In between somewhere, he forgot to mention that the one thing that we share which is enough to overcome all the differences – love. He said all this after the most beautiful night of our lives together. I can not recollect even today, what went wrong.
I gave up everything for him. I don’t regret it. It has been 10 years since he walked away. I don’t regret a thing. I cherish everything. He made me what I am today. I wish I could give it a closure. I wish I could have said all that I have ever wanted to. I wish I could have said goodbye before he left. I wish I could just let him know my love for him, which refuses to die down, even today.
Today he is a happy man with a happy family. A family that shares his aspirations and destination. I am not a part of it. And I am okay with it. I knew anyone apart from him would be a compromise. And love can not be a compromise.
I was lost in my thoughts when the lightening distracted me. I walked towards my window. I saw him standing across the road, waving at me. Was I dreaming?
He gestured me to come down. I was seeing him for the first time in 10 years. I was unsure of what I should do.
The next thing I knew that I was walking towards him. I stood there, looking straight into his eyes.
“I am sorry, Vrinda. I realized today what all I lost that day. I have been trying to call you. I want to say sorry. I know it’s hard to forgive, but can we at least try…”
I suddenly felt all my restlessness leave my system. I suddenly have the closure that I was seeking.
I smiled at him and said, “Goodbye, Vivek.”
I walked away.
And it rained that night.