Yes, I am on a roll. 4th consecutive day of posting on my blog. I feel great!
At times, it is too difficult to admit to your fears. I, right now, can not even think of anything that makes me scared or makes me stop and think about my existence. I will still try to write.
Why am I afraid of heights? I don’t know. My home is on the ground floor, I hardly go up to the terrace. In school/ college, I never looked down from the 2nd or the 3rd floor. Even during my first flight, looking down from a height from where the huge buildings are just Lego blocks, made me sick. Maybe it’s not the fear. I don’t like heights.
Water is the most powerful force, according to me. The floods, tsunamis and other water-related natural disasters scare the crap out of me at times. And when water combines with other force like air, they result in even worse disasters. And that is the only reason why I am scared of it. And, in return, that is the only reason why I am not very keen on any holiday with beaches on it. I don’t like beaches.
6. Closed Spaces
Hell yes, I am claustrophobic. You won’t see me going in lifts much. You won’t see me sitting in the back seat of a congested car. If you do, I will always be sitting at the window seat. When sleeping with 2 or more people, I won’t be the one sleeping in the middle. Again, I won’t show it. My blood pressure does. *sigh*
And yes, now let us come to less Wikipedia-ish fears.
5. Living alone
Since my early childhood, I have always been afraid of having to live without my family and close peeps. I have always thought that on one not-so-fine-day, I will do something so wrong, terribly wrong, that people would either abandon me or throw me out of their lives and I will be forced to live alone. Yes, that is my true fear now. Solitude is bliss, but only when you know that at the end of your solitude phase, you have people to whom you can return back to.
And it is a good thing to be afraid of death. Hence, I rest my case.
Being afraid of failure doesn’t stop me from doing things, but yes, I can not stand failure. Though of late I have been doing that a lot. But then again, as I have reached to this point, I have realized, its more of my dislike than fear towards these few things.
Even though she is a bitch, the song “what goes around, comes round” inspires me a lot. I am truly afraid of karma. If you do bad, it comes back to you with an intensity of a thousand times. But if you do good, it just gets lost in the universe. This inspires me to be neutral all the time.
This is one ultimate fact of my life. I fear them. A lot. It’s not a fear of being grounded by them, but a fear that comes out of respect. The respect is, of course, two way. And yes the freedom that I have got. The trust that they put in me. All of this scares me. I can never break their trust or let freedom and respect fade away. Yes, that is why I am afraid.