Aah! This is what a personal blog is for! Any rambling, any ranting, the blog is the perfect vent machine. And this is what I have been doing since the last few posts, no? Anyhow, today this idea just crossed my mind, and here I’m! I would try my best to not to be sarcastic, as this one is something serious, very serious issue for almost everyone. (No, I was not being sarcastic here!)
Once or maybe more than that, all of us must have felt that we are taken for granted. And most of the time, it is by the people whom we love. Family and the few very –close-to-heart people tend to take you for granted like forever. And it is very obvious, they will, like the way we do, knowingly or unknowingly. I’ll leave out the family-part here because with family it’s always a two-way street. We never fail to take our parents or siblings for granted on some matters, so if they do it too, there is no harm.
This one post particularly goes out to those who let themselves be taken for granted by people they love eternally. No matter if it’s a lover or your best friend, if you know that he/she means the world to you, is the centre of your universe, you won’t ever want that to change, so you surrender. It’s true, even if you deny it. This is one fact that you can change, but it’s totally up to you if you want to change it or not.
Sometimes, you love being taken for granted. Sometimes, it’s the love for the person that makes you go blind (and deaf and dumb, in short, a retard), that you don’t oppose to being taken for granted. Sometimes, it’s the need of the hour. But at one point in time, this finally starts to hurt you. If you react, no matter what, YOU are wrong. At least, you are made to believe that you are. This is the law of nature my friend, if you be good, good is never returned to you. And if out of frustration you ask for it, you are bad, evil! But there has to be a time when you have to take a plunge.
Are you the one, running from post to pillar to help people, and when you need them, call them, they are nothing but busy? You expect thanks for what you do for people, but never get it. Is it like no matter what you do, how much you do, the receiving end always wants for more, and your previous efforts are not appreciated? You are always, or maybe most of the times, feeling ignored and neglected? People assume that you’ll be there, and if you are for once “busy”(like they are for you, always), it’s taken as a personal offence? If your answer is in affirmative to any of the question, then you are being taken for granted. And if you are giving yourself reasons and justifications for your every yes of yours, like by chanting Joyce Brothers’ quote
“Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you’ve become a comfortable, trusted element in another person’s life.”
in your head, then you are turning blind eyes (and deaf ears and dumb tongue and a retarded mind, again!) to the fact that you are the one who’s assumed to be the ONE, who could be fooled, always, on an emotional basis. Accept it, and forgive me for being rude.
If you want to change this regime of yours, read ahead. If you don’t, then also go ahead. It might happen that this gets registered in your head, and you might act in the near future. C’mon, I want you to respect your life.
Here is what you can do when you feel that you are being taken for granted.
Talk about it. Yes, this one always helps. In every situation, talking is the best medicine. But by this, I don’t mean that you talk, only. Listen as well. Be rational. You have to convey what you feel, that is it. And also, don’t make assumptions talking and start blaming the other person. As I said, be rational.
Stop being the goodie-good person and learn to say NO. You have your own boundaries and limits. Make people aware of that. A “no” is not rude. This will also make people realize that you can’t be taken for granted.
Stop expecting. Okay, this one is for your getting less hurt. Don’t expect thanks in return if you are helping someone because helping is your hobby.
DO NOT give up on your self-respect. Never in your life, give yourself a chance to blame someone for reducing you to a person with zero self-respect. Stop doing things which come on to your self-respect. You deserve better.
Just a few suggestions that I have for you, by my personal experiences. If you want to try them, go ahead. I promise it won’t change anything. Neither the sun would rise from the west nor the North Pole will shift to the South Pole, but you’ll get a sense of confidence and belonging. Who knows, you might get the treatment from your loved ones, which you always dream of. And you know what, if you are loved the way you love them, they will understand.
PS: Preaching in always easier than practising. Sigh!!