No, I don’t lead a frustrated and regretful life..or do I?!!

Since the last few days, lazing around at my place, practically having nothing to do, all I have been doing is this awful work of analysing my life. I hate this phase, when I have nothing to do, I get frustrated and start thinking all the useless things in this world. I don’t know why, but I have come to this conclusion that my life is full of regrets. I’ll regret even the tiniest of the decisions that I make, and probably I’ll regret the decision that my 3rd door neighbour makes because probably I suggested him/ her to do that!Buying a black sandal instead of red because of a momentary decision make me feel regretful, even though I know that buying the red one would have been equally regretful! I hate shopping with loads of options, but then I hate shopping with a few options as well. I hate everything around me. I hate this weather. I hate sitting at home. I hate going out. I hate being alone. I hate anyone’s company. I hate travelling in the metro. I hate sitting in the car. I hate playing games. I hate driving. I hate watching television. I hate sitting idly. I miss my friends. I don’t want to meet them. I get bored I call my friends, but I don’t want to talk. I’m really frustrated, so out of work, so out of mind.

I regret everything I have done until now. I regret going to school. I regret taking the decisions regarding my career. I regret not going out of Delhi, though I know I would have regretted otherwise. I regret going to a girl’s college, I would have regretted otherwise anyway. I regret buying this dress instead of that!

After a lot of introspection, I’m unable to find the reason for my frustration and regrets. That’s why the title of this post, to pacify and console myself.

I have to find some other way to kill my time else, I know I might get mad. I have decided to do loads of things to do, but 5 days on, all I did was self-analysis. Help me, please. Suggest me what to do, no, rather suggest me how to stick to do what I decide. Imagine, I’m having trouble managing my leisure time!

1) Reading
I have bought loads of books. Going on with my latest fetish of reading Indian authors, I have come to the conclusion that I have to curb this fetish. These new books by self- proclaimed authors are nothing but typical Hindi movie stories, garnished with self-experienced madness. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m taking out my frustration here. Simply, I should be reading, as I have decided, classics by Charles Dicken and Oscar Wilde, and get a true taste of classic English literature.

2) Computer Games
I have downloaded and installed hell lot of games but played none. My self-analysis has overtaken every damn interest of mine! Anyway, I enjoy playing all sort of games, so please suggest some good games!

3) Movies
I hate watching movies in the theatre. I have anyway downloaded loads of moves, and seen them as well. But it’s not a very satisfactory way of killing time. I’m really frustrated, I realized it while writing this. I hate romantic movies, so please avoid suggesting them

4) Learning to drive
I’m afraid of driving. But still, I ‘ll do it this vacations. My Maruti 800.

5) Something useful
Ya ya..I’m learning some computer language. I won’t discuss much it, not very fond of it anyway.

I think I’ll stop here, else I might start hating myself as well, which I know I can’t, but why take chances!